When is Self Love Selfish?

We are all always told "put yourself first" and "do what's best for you" but when does it become selfish? Does it ever? Is this a situation by situation event where you need to use your best judgment? This has been on my mind a lot recently as I have really dove into self-love this summer and have been calling it "Summer of Gracie!"

Earlier in the year, I got in a fight with a few friends. We made plans to go to a Halloween party dressed as the spice girls (I was ginger) and about 5 hours before the party they backed out. They said they didn't feel comfortable going out and didn't want to. I was upset simply that they did not say anything earlier and to me, that seems selfish. I was able to go out with some other friends (thank you Emma, Sydney, and Theresa ily) but Ginger and Sporty spice were missing the rest of the band. Was this a selfish act because they did not think of me or my other spice girl who wanted to go, or was this a self-love act because they were caring for themselves and doing what's best for them?

I have been trying to think of when to be selfish and skip out on something or say no, and when to suck it up and say yes to something you maybe don't want to do. There is a point where doing something for a friend is more important than doing something for you because you are keeping that friendship. Friends are so important and don't let me get started on how important it is to do things for your friends.

For example, my good friend wanted to bring a boy to our sorority formal and wanted me to bring one of his friends. While I didn't necessarily want to bring his friend, I didn't have another date and it didn't hurt me. I was more than happy to do something I didn't 100% want to do and wouldn't do it for anyone, but for a good friend, I would. ♡

But what about when it isn't a close friend? What if ghosting a guy hurts his feeling? This is when it comes down to you and how you feel. I feel like for family and close friends it is very important to do things you might not want to do if it is important to them. Let me say this again... IF IT IS IMPORTANT TO THEM. If you are staying in for a random Thursday night because you want to sleep, study, or be alone that's ok. If you made plans months ago and your friends are relying on you or really looking forward to it, try as hard as you can to make it. Wow, do you see how it gets so complicated?

So let's go back to the ghosting situation... It is selfish to stop talking to him with no excuse. NO. If you don't own him anything (and in this situation you don't) do what's best for you.

If you spend your whole life trying not to step on toes and helping others, you aren't gonna get to spend any time helping you. Taking care of yourself is SO important and should always be your priority. So here we go again with specifics again.

I think in the long run, if you love yourself and truly know you what's best for you, you will do what's best for you. As they say, you cannot truly love another until you love yourself. So take time for you and be your own best friend, because with that you will be able to help others more fully.

xoxo,

Gracie

p.s. I dont own any of the images